80/20

Sorry! I have been incredibly lethargic this week! My visitor is just around the corner. Combine that with the weather change and Seasonal Affective Disorder and this little woman is ready to hibernate!! There have been quite a few days lately when I just wanted to disappear inside myself somewhere. Life, adulthood, responsibility is just too much sometimes. Especially when you feel like a rat on one of those exercise wheels: the wheel is turning.. but you are going nowhere!
Anyway, I went to see Tyler Perry's new movie "Why Did I get Married." It was an excellent movie. I am convinced that every one should go see it. One of the major points in the movie is about 80/20. When you are in a relationship, you can have 80% of your needs or 20%.
Sometimes people will jeopardize 80% for 20% and realize later that they should have stayed with their 80%. I have been thinking about that a lot. I need to stop accepting 20% I deserve so much more! Everyone does. Stop accepting people's sorry ass 20% and allow that 80% to love the hell out of you! (Pardon my French!)

Long Weekend - Big Plans!

Music Video:HATE ON ME (by Jill Scott)

Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone

Well, I am soo happy because the students aren't here today as we finish our grades.. and we are off tomorrow! Once I finish my grades.. I am gonna have to change my bulletin board to Halloween.. (I promised the kids Halloween Music next week) ... and then a little planning and clean my white board.

I have big plans: tomorrow.. no matter what time I crawl out of the bed I am gonna go to IHOP for breakfast!! I have not been there in years!!! Then this weekend, after my voice lesson, I am gonna go to the movies & then Red Lobster.. I have been craving shrimp all week!!

I recently bought the Jill Scott CD.. it was a kinda hard decision between Diana Krall and Jill Scott but because I have a Diana Krall :Live in Paris CD with most of the songs on her new CD I went with Jill Scott. At first I thought, "This time Jill is just a little too deep for me." But now... I actually like it alot. There are a lot of really nice songs on the cd! Songs that seem to speak to my heart and mind.. I am about how the music makes me feel.. Which is why I think I would actually make a great music therapist! Here is here latest video!

Rose Colored Glasses

I have realized something very interesting about myself: In the insane world of dating and romance I seem to have the blinders on. Well, I used too. I think my last experience taught me a very valuable lesson. There were a plethora of half truths & Jedi mind tricks. I spent a great amount of energy being frustrated, feeling sad, foolish & humiliated (I am supposed to be a smart girl!) It was like watching a dog chase his tail and then some kinda way I joined the silly game!
I could easily feel like all men are cruel, self absorbed, heartless, inconsiderate jerks. However, I am not going to be a man-hater! Some men just don't respect women, only see women as a source of sexual pleasure, or simply get a thrill out of drama.. at such an emotional cost. (Not their own emotions of course!) Some men are just plain old GREEDY.. they want the different dimensions of many women that combine to make one women in their mind.
I think there are other men that had bad experiences and have decided their purpose in all relationships is to "get them before they get me!" The sad thing is.. everyone is not out to get you! Who wants to live life like that anyway?? Basically that means you will forever be lonely because you are consistently sabotaging every relationship that you have. Plus, you are so busy concentrating on your plot to sabotage you could have a true gem and loose out completely! There has to be a level of insanity in that game!!!
I was reading this book and it said.."When things don't work out in one relationship, that just means there is someone else in the universe that is willing to love you more!! " That certainly gives me peace of mind! We often have plans and think we know what is best for us.. but God knows best. He can give us exactly what we need. That thing we want so badly could be carrying the most soul altering venom! Words like: nefarious, debauchery, temperance, masochism, nor sadistic should not be used to describe inimate relationships! I like nirvana.. that is an ideal word for an intimate relationship!

Disaster!

Last night I was watching a movie named In Her Shoes... I have seen the movie before.. but had forgotten how heart warming it was. The element that seemed to be a special thread in film was the most beautiful poetry. The poem listed below really spoke to my heart.. I have a serious problem of letting things go.. I mean it hurts a little to read this poem...this thing brings on crocodile tears!! I hope you enjoy it!

ONE ART

The art of losing isn't hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is not disaster. Lose something every day. Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent. The art of losing isn't hard to master. Then practice losing farther, losing faster: places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel. None of these will bring disaster. I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or next-to-last, of three loved homes went.The art of losing isn't hard to master. I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster, some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent. I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.

-Elizabeth Bishop

3 is the Magic Number!

I am sooo happy there are only three days for students this week. Thursday.. the teachers will be finishing up grades and putting them in computer.. and Friday we are off!!! It would be nice to go away from Thursday night to Saturday night... some place nice... relaxing.. exotic... I need to live closer to Cali!

This has definitely been an interesting first semester... I almost did not have a classroom... I had to fight so that Pre-K would have 20 minute classes instead of 45 minute classes which is pure torture for both teacher and students... I created a 911 video.. Had a job interview... went to a music teachers meeting & got propositioned by a married man (a test from God.. that I passed)... and turned in a Washington Post Grant in the Arts!! I think that I definitely deserve a full body massage.. with a happy ending!!!

I'm Back!

Dude I am back!! I don't know what happened to me.. well, actually I do know what happened. .. but I am saving all that drama for movie rights! Still teaching.. still singing... still looking for my purpose in life.. but for the most part.. I got my health and strength!

I was thinking I was heartbroken until I talked to one of my friends! His wife went and filed divorce papers after their new born baby turned 2 months old.. how sad is that! They just finished the divorce proceedings and he is still sooo heart broken... dude is calling me everyday asking me what I think she is gonna do next.. or how she may be feeling.. or do I think they should get back together... It's so emotional that I have to keep telling him to hold on so I can get tissues for myself and try not to boohooo cry on the phone!

2 years ago if he had asked me should he get back with her.. I probably would have said, emphatically, "NO.. Hell NO!!" But, these days.. I am telling him.. if you love her.. call her.. if you want to be with her tell her.. regardless of how silly you feel! Regardless of what other people think.. people are always telling you what they wouldn't do when they are experiencing their own little private hell! So if you love someone.. go on and humiliate yourself and tell them.. like my mom told me, "Nothing beats a try but a failure.."

There never has and never be anything rational about matters of the heart! If it were so rational would there actually be room for passion?

Black Rose

I met with my book club this weekend and we had a ball. The book that we read for September was The Black Rose. It is a biographical fiction sory about the life of Madam CJ Walker. The first black millionaire in history. The story is incredible. I loved the ambition, drive, determination, and charisma of the character Sarah Walker (Madam CJ.) She was such a smart woman and had an amazing business sense during the later 1800- early 1900s. This book is definitely worth reading!!